A SENSE OF BELONGING

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The Need to Belong

From the beginning of life, finding a "sense of belonging" is a  driving force in all of us. In the emerging field of Diversity, Inclusion and Equity, creating a "sense of belonging" is becoming a primary objective of corporations, organizations, and institutions.  Most efforts try to create a non-offensive environment on the belief that if people are not offended or made to feel uncomfortable they will feel like they belong and therefore experience a sense of belonging. In reality, without creating a connection to the person's self-identity, the deep relationship that brings a sense of belonging cannot be achieved.

A Personal Experience

Relationships alone, such as group or team memberships, may meet a general need to belong, but do not necessarily create a sense of belonging through a subjective sense of fitting in. Several studies have alluded to the fact that a sense of belonging is a very personal experience. A 2013 review of the literature on social belonging concluded that first and foremost, a sense of belonging is a perception that is unique to the individual. Dr. Roy Baumeister, who has done extensive research on belongingness, noted that the perception of the bond is essential for satisfying the need to belong and that people differ in the degree to which they believe that their [social] belongingness needs are being met irrespective of the extensiveness of their social networks or the strength of social support they receive.  

Motivated by Identity Formation and Expression

In 1995,  Lee and Robbins concluded that “most research has failed to adequately measure the phenomenological sense of belongingness” and that “in order for there to be a comprehensive understanding of belongingness, the phenomenological or subjective sense of belongingness must be studied” (p. 234).  As I researched studies for my dissertation, I came to believe that the type of study Lee and Robbins suggested had still not been done.

Employing the Duquesne Phenomenological Research Method (DPRM) developed by Amedeo Giorgi, my dissertation Human Belongingness: Theory and Experience revealed that personally experiencing a sense of belonging was more dependent on identity formation than environmental conditions. In their expressions of experiencing a sense of belonging, participants related six critical elements that must be part of a real or perceived relationship for a person to feel a sense of belonging. This relationship may be with their physical, social, cultural, or spiritual environment, but it must always contain these six critical elements.  If any of the elements falter or fail, the sense of belonging is diminished or lost.

1.  A desired and available relationship with a referent is brought to a person's

      consciousness through reflection or a new experience

     Reflection refers to  an existing relationship being contemplatively  brought

     into consciousness. A new experience refers to an opportunity to initiate a

     new desired and available relationship.  

     Examples:       

     Socially: A friendship or romance           Culturally: Familiar ways and means      

     Physically: A place like home                     Spiritually: A metaphysical presence   

2.  Realization or initiation of a role between the person and that referent 

     The realization or initiation of a role with a referent is the objective

     circumstance that creates  opportunity for a sense of belonging to be realized

     or develop.

      Examples:           

      Socially: Becoming a friend                     Culturally: Being part of interactions 

      Physically: Being at "home"                     Spiritually: Becoming a believer  

3.  Belief that the role aligns with the the person's beliefs, values, and goals 

     This element requires the person to have embraced personally developed

      beliefs, values, and goals to determine if role would conflict with who they

     really are or want to be – their “self-identity.”  (See Belonging and Your Ikigai 

     and Belonging and Identity)

4.  Belief that the role constructs or maintains the person's self-identity by

     contributing to self-esteem, continuity, distinctiveness, (social) belonging, 

     efficacy, or meaning 

     There must be a belief that this role supports the person's desired self-

      identity by constructing a component of their identity that they desire to

      develop or maintaining components they have achieved.  

5.  Interactions with the referent that remain within the person’s expected 

     parameters of the role relationship

     Both the individual and the referent will have expectations of the boundaries

     that define the role each plays in the relationship. The relationship must

     remain within these boundaries. The contributions from and benefits to the

     individual must be as expected of the relationship for it to develop and 

     continue.  Critical Elements 5 and 6 form  a foundation of trust that dissipates

     negative feelings such as anxiety and depression and  fosters positive feelings

     like safety, security and restfulness. 

6.  Interactions with the referent that are consistently and continually

      effective in meeting the individual’s expectations of the relationship 

     How well the interactions with the referent consistently and continually meet 

     an individual’s expectations becomes the barometer of their sense of 

     belonging. However, neither ourselves nor our environments remain the

     same. If there comes a time when the relationship is no longer effective in

     building or maintaining the person's desired self-identity, the sense of 

     belonging is lost.  

This is a very brief introduction to the Six Critical Elements. My research further explored how these critical elements can be applied to a wide variety of purposes such as personal emotional stability, institutional retention of students, employer retention of employees, immigrants feeling welcomed, military personnel returning to civilian life, and more. They can also be applied to prominent social issues such as race relations, gender identity, and sexual preference.  

I welcome inquiry and comment on any of the material on my site. Please use the Contact Page for any questions or comments you have or to request  consultation on applying the Six Critical Elements of a Sense of Belonging to personal development or organizational effectiveness and efficiency. 

Still learning, 

Gary